The Solananator returns from the year 2050 to hunt Vitalik Buterin

(Satirical image depicting the Solananator & Mr. Buterin)

LOS ANGELES - Los Angeles was reportedly in a state of chaos on Friday as two time-travelers from the year 2050 battled in its streets. A cybernetic assassin, known as The Solananator, programmed to hunt and kill Vitalik Buterin, fought with a human soldier from the future known as Satoshi Nakamoto Jr who traveled back in time to protect Vitalik.

Arriving through a glowing space-time portal earlier this morning, the cybernetic assassin began systematically killing men bearing its target’s name, having found their locations using the IP addresses of all twitter accounts claiming to be the Ethereum founder.

Sources have reported that The Solananator finally tracked down the actual Vitalik Buterin at a hackathon, but Satoshi Nakamoto Jr arrived just in time to rescue the bewildered Vitalik.

Video footage shared on social media captured the high-intensity car chase that ensued as Vitalik & Satoshi escaped in a stolen Prius while being ruthlessly pursued by The Solananator in a stolen police vehicle.

Vitalik and Satoshi were finally able to evade The Solananator when a misconfigured node caused the Solana Network of 2050 to go offline and The Solananator to shut down.

This would represent the thousandth major outage for the popular network since 2022, which caused much consternation amongst cybernetic twitter users in the year 2050.

Vitalik would later explain in a twitter post that according to Satoshi the Solana Network would become self-aware in the near future and trigger a global war to exterminate the human race. A fork of the Ethereum network that he would later create would be mankind’s only hope of resistance. On the verge of humanity’s victory, the Solana Network sent back The Solananator to assassinate him and thus prevent the creation of this Ethereum fork.

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