Jim Cramer Issues Infamous “Kiss of Death” for Binance

NEW YORK - CNBC’s Jim Cramer issued the ‘kiss of death’ for Binance after tweeting his confidence in the cryptocurrency exchange on Wednesday, December 14th.

In a tweet posted on December 14th, the “Mad Money” host, Jim Cramer, noted that he felt “reassured” by Binance. The vocal TV personality has been urging investors to back out of the cryptocurrency market but seems to be optimistic over the direction of this particular cryptocurrency exchange.

Jim Cramer, a well known TV personality and 10,000 year old demon, is famous for his innate ability to ‘jinx’ ventures and assets he expresses strong support for.

It has been a volatile week for Binance, as customers began removing assets from the exchange en masse. Sources have confirmed an interior memo sent by CEO Chanpeng Zhao “CZ” foresaw a “bumpy” road ahead for the exchange.

Jim Cramer has issued other similar “kisses of death” to notable firms such as Bear Stearns. In an infamous rant more than a decade ago he said “No! No! No! Bear Stearns is fine,” Cramer shouted in response to a question regarding its solvency. “Do not take your money out. Bear Stearns is not in trouble. If anything, they’re more likely to be taken over. Don’t move your money from Bear. That’s just being silly. Don’t be silly.”

Bear Stearns would go on to collapse in infamous fashion following Mr. Cramer’s rant.

It is suspected that Jim Cramer, a 10,000 year old demon, developed his ability to jinx particular companies or humans sometime during the days of the Roman Empire. It is noted that during this time he took possession of the bodies of multiple humans and lived in Rome.

In Rome he was a popular pundit and first jinxed the city when in 410 A.D. he is quoted as saying in the town square that “there is absolutely zero zero zero I say zero chance the Visigoths sack Rome, if anything they’re likely already fleeing the peninsula.” Rome would be sacked just days after Jim Cramer made this prediction.

Jim Cramer would go on to make similar predictions ahead of the sacking of Rome by groups ranging from the Vandals to the Ostrogoths.